My Farewell To The Dramasphere

Well, this is it. My final farewell to the dramasphere. Some of you think I switched teams, I didn’t. I’m simply getting out of the game.

When I focused on making Bullyography, it did not come from a place of love in my heart, but a place of hurt and anger.

I wanted to fight bullying but instead, became a bully and created a platform for bullying.

If I had never heard what happened to someone’s daughter I don’t think I would have realized the truth.

Maybe there’s a way to fight bullying while being a neutral, objective party, and I’ll work on discovering that. For now, I need to work on finding my own peace of mind and to do that, I need to say goodbye to this horribly negative, evil world that exists online.

Many of us blamed one person for all of this, when the truth is, we are all to blame. Each of us played a part in allowing this monstrosity to grow to this level and it consumes most of our lives on a daily basis.

Even when we try to leave it is there, hovering in the background, gnashing its teeth trying to pull us back in.

It destroys lives.

I cannot name one positive thing that has transpired in the past year due to this cyberbullying, dramasphere atmosphere. 

Maybe some of you can, but I can’t.

Some of you feel I let you down. I promised to create this website that would “expose” everything this scapegoat has done, only I was exposed in the process.

I was exposed as being everything I accused and blamed others for being.

I nearly died in February and I don’t know how I survived. I don’t know how I am still here, but I am.

My life has changed rapidly between my son’s and my own diagnosis and I guess I wanted an escape.

It’s easy to escape into other people’s drama and madness, or into YouTube streams that occupy your time but never actually accomplish anything.

And there’s mob mentality too.

There is no doubt that when we engage in these YouTube streams, mob mentality forms.

We may call it freedom of speech or debate whether or not it is hate speech, but in every stream, cliques form and there are targets, and oppressors…it seems this is human nature, but it is in my opinion, at it’s worst form online.

I have made apologies to the people I believe deserve them. If I didn’t apologize to you, don’t hold your breath โ€” one isn’t coming.

I will apologize to everyone for my part in this.

Life is bigger than this. Life is better than this. My life is better than this. Your life is better than this.

People’s lives are being damaged and the damage is real.

I wanted to make a website that would help heal the damage and instead, I became a bully. 

Maybe, I always was one.

I’m not making the website. I’m not being a party to this anymore. I’m not going in any more streams, and sadly, I will be blocking you. Some of you are probably applauding right now and that’s okay.

I’m applauding for myself.

Good-bye and God-speed.

Charisse

 

CharisseVanHorn

Charisse Van Horn is an artist, poet, and freelance writer.

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